Weirdest thing. My throat chakra is all sorts of fucked up and I’m having a hard time communicating.
Been downstairs in the lab brewing up some new life plans. I think about what a weirdo I am all the time and try often to come up with stunts to seem cool and casual and less weird. There are values to uphold of course. Being kind and good and thoughtful can sometimes make you boring or seem less smart, but it’s more important to be kind than to be right. Some of us can all agree on that.
Do you remember our second cousin? We’ll call her Meryl. Meryl’s been old her entire life but I think these days she’s around sixty. She wears glasses, shirts buttoned to the neck and polyester suits. It can’t be comfortable. Before dinner she sways back and forth and claws her nails into her knees. When I was younger she had two pet guinea pigs named Coco and something else. She brought them to all the family gatherings, or else she showed everyone pictures. (Imagine the conversation those inspired. None.)
She held them to her chest and it was very clear she loved the guinea pigs. In my memory I wanted to hold them but Meryl would have a panic attack if anyone else held them because she was afraid they would die. Denying an 8 year old a chance to hold a furry animal—this was my first taste of seeing a crazy person get away with whatever crazy shit they wanted.
Her guinea pigs ended up dying and Meryl was so devastated she got out of coming to family events for years. “Why doesn’t Meryl get new guinea pigs?” Every holiday I begged them to give me a real answer, and my Grandma would pat me on the knee and say “Shhh,” as she nodded the knowing family look that said, “Cousin Meryl is crazy, remember? Let it go.”
Why doesn’t Meryl just get more guinea pigs? What the fuck.
The point of this thing got away from me. I was trying to say that I hope to enact a new life-plan that emphasizes getting away with behaving however I want while still remaining vital, having relationships and making art. It’s not going to be easy. People still expect me to look them in the eye and pretend to care about dumb things…
Who else can we think of that is way cool and acts however they want? Marlon Brando? Roger Ebert? Bjork?
This could turn into a Charlie Sheen thing if we’re not careful.
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